Home > Uncategorized, you and me > you and me – POSTCARD #18

you and me – POSTCARD #18

This postcard was sent by one of my favourite writers/editors/humans ever. Thanks Daniel. I hope it’s worthy.

Motherfucker

Sometimes I fantasize about a guy hassling me at a gig, all pushy and gross about it, and then this guy walks up to stop him. If the jerk keeps going, the hero just drags him out by the scruff of his neck and dumps him on his arse.

This fantasy is even better if there are heaps of people and it’s the lead singer that jumps off stage to punch the jerk.

I only told Cassie because she showed me her mum’s vibrator one day when she was stealing smokes. It was purple and had a dolphin head on it and she called it the Motherfucker. I wondered if my Mum had used one before she left. Or maybe she used one now.

At the underage gigs we stood against the wall. Up front were all the blonde girls that knew the band. Cassie said they were sluts and I said yeah but thought they looked great, especially when the singer looked at them when they were dancing.

When I went to the bathroom, the other girls smiled at me with bright pink lips and started giggling and barking like dogs once I was in the cubicle.

I stayed in there for the rest of the show.

Cassie was still waiting but I didn’t say goodbye. I walked home and opened the back door as quietly as I could but he was waiting on the couch.

Curfew was twenty minutes ago.

In the shadows I couldn’t see his face and instead of being scared it was better when he stood up and took his belt off.

It wasn’t my dad at all. It was just some jerk. And any minute someone would come and drag him by the scruff of the neck and throw him out on his arse.

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  1. Daniel McDermott
    May 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Yes, I’m biased, but this is my favorite one yet. Brilliant! I knew all those Carol Brady fantasies would be good for something.

  2. May 6, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    The fact that I have major word crushes on both of you possibly means I’m biased as well; but having this story beat the shit out of me made my evening! Perfect collab! x x

  3. May 10, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    Brilliant piece to go with a brilliant postcard. I think it may be my favourite too, with no bias! x

  4. June 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I think I felt ouchier about the girls than the jerk.
    But I forgot about the jerk when I put him out on his arse.

    Fantastic!

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