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a small recipe

the bananas are rotting, but that’s okay because they’re supposed to, you have to let them sit there and go brown and say yes that’s fine, even though you’re not usually the kind of person who likes to let things get old, you have a cupboard stocked with staples and it’s okay if friends tease you about it a little because they don’t know why you do this, so you keep a cupboard stocked with grains and pulses and pasta, you like to cook for others mostly, salty savoury treats that make you lick your fingers and feel very fine about your larder, and it’s only mornings like these that you reach for the self-raising flour, the sugar, the sweet corner of your cupboard that’s hard to reach, you have to slide a chair across the tiles and stand on your tippee-toes and you get out your favourite shiny silver bowl and you mix the sugar and butter together and your wrist begins to ache, you hum a bit and sing to songs that make you happy because that’s what you want people to taste, you mix and add the bananas, over-ripe,  you remind yourself, not a dead thing, and you burn yourself on the oven as you slide your cake in, and you suck on the welt and smile in a wry kind of way because you always do this when you bake, and now you can sit down and wipe the little smudge of flour from your cheek, that’s somehow turned to dough and that’s okay too, because the cake is rising now, and no-one will be able to taste how much you ache, not even you

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  1. February 12, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    oh yase, I love this.

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